Kitchen talk

Wife and husband (I)

The kitchen of a house in Zurich, Switzerland. She has a cup of coffee, he arrives.

Wife: Darling, this is too much! Another 152 emails. Since my email address has been copied into the newspapers I receive all this crap from the Swiss people.

Husband: Here you go. It's not exactly my fault, is it? This is actually the least of my problems.

Wife: I have also people visiting the gallery, they enter and just stare at me. They don't buy anthing, they just want to see this woman ... it's awful.

Husband: Well, it's quite rare that the woman stops the career of the man. It used to be the other way round.

Wife: Come on, sweetie, you already have three job offers from all over the world. You're not crying, are you? Call it quits! You just got rid of all those terrible political meetings, the Bundeshaus-goosip, these lobbyists, party representatives, all these narrow-minded bad-looking guys in old-fashioned suits.

Husband: Ha, ha. Very funny. And who's gonna pay the bills? Who will pay all these lawyers we must hire? It's not being paid from the gallery revenues, is it?

Wife: I can go back to currency trading any time, darling. Juts let me know, I'm ready. .... Hey, we could move to Singapore.

Husband: Are you kidding? Why did we just pay 75'000 CHF to the Swiss Mountain Aid Foundation? I love Switzerland, really.

Wife: Sweetie, but Switzerland does not love you. You saved thousands of jobs through the currency fixing, but they don't love you. .... New York would also be nice .... doesn't the world bank need a new chief executive any time soon?

Wife and hisband (II)

The kitchen of a house in Hannover, Germany. She has a cup of coffee, he arrives and is about to switch on the TV.

Wife: Darling, don't do it. TV isn't good for you these days. Tonight this German entertainer Harald Schmidt will present ...

Husband: Darling, nobody really understands me. All I want is to do my job. Quite simple, actually. When Schmidt talks about me, all the other political entertainers will follow suit. Oh, migod. I didn't deserve this, did I?

Wife: You might talk onto Schmidt's answering machine, too.

Husband: Just great - my own wife stabs me in the back. Thank you, really!

Wife: Well, I don't think it was my idea to talk to Dieckmann's voice recorder. I could have told you, that was a very stupid thing to do. These things never work out, you were much too nervous. That was really stupid.

Husband: Come on, you PR guys know everything better - first of all in hindsight! Forget Dieckmann. He is just an editor-in-chief. One in many.

Wife: And you are only a head of state. One in many. 

Husband  (smiles, but clamps his lips together): Quite good, darling. .... Come on, let's have steak in our little pub around the corner. Like ordinary citizens.

Wife: Are you crazy? This is your free evening. Do you have any idea how the people will stare at you? They'll spit in your beer mug.  We could perhaps sit in their 'chambre separé' ... Oh, I forgot to say that your boss called. She scheduled a telephone call for tomorrow.

Husband: Oh no, again! Do you know, what she wants from me? You won't believe it: she asked me to press-gang Dieckmann for the tapes. Does she really mean that? It's impossible to do! She seems to believe that his tabloid BILD can pull the strings on the government.

Wife: Sounds reasonable.

Husband: Another attack from behind.